Saturday, December 24th

attempted Jodo Shin humor


You're all familiar with Genza, right? Yes? No? He was a "myokonin", a simple unlettered man who nonetheless had a deep understanding of the Teachings and lived a life immersed in the Nembutsu. During a trip to Japan with the "Nembutsu" tour originating out of the Buddhist Study Center in Honolulu, we visited the rural village where Genza lived and died. One refreshing idea of that particular village was that there were no individual graves or gravestones. All the ashes go into a big "grave" with one great, big gravestone. The idea behind this is, I suppose, to reinforce the thought that we are all equals on our respective quests or journeys to the Pure Land. This is both practical as well as being true to the teachings. It is practical because as many people visit the same memorial, there are always flowers and such. Needless to say, the memorial is never neglected nor ignored as some gravesites are in cemetaries everywhere. It is true to the teachings as my ego self is essentially false, the life energy which sustains me would return to that vast resovoir of life energy when I die and the ego shell falls away. The irony of all this is that everyone's ashes go into the big "pot" but Genza has his own little gravestone off to the side of the collective stone memorial, being a bonafide myokonin with a reputation.


Anyhow, this story was told to me by Rev. Toshio Murakami who I believe was once the Bishop of the Buddhist Churches of Canada and spent some time spreading the teachings in Australia and is presently in Wailuku on the island of Maui. The story goes something like this:

The temple bell rang to notify the villagers that the "omairi" (service) was about to start. That particular day, the weather was not cooperative as heavy rains deluged the area. Genza came running in out of the rain, uttering the Nembutsu.

"Namandab, Namandab, Namandab............, how grateful I am, Namandab, Namandab......."

One villager approached Genza and queried, "Genza-san, you seem especially grateful today. What happened?"

To which Genza replied, "I am so thankful that the nose on my face is as it is."

The perplexed villager couldn't quite understand Genza's answer so he asked, "Why do you say that Genza-san? I don't understand why you should be so grateful that you have a nose ... we all do."

"That's true," says Genza, "we all have noses and for that I am grateful. But today, I am especially grateful because my nose faces down and not up. Can you imagine how much water would have got into my nose had it been facing up with all this rain?!"

By my standards, this story, as funny as it is, is too squeaky clean. It is, though, a real Jodo Shinshu funny story and it is original. How accurate it is in its telling or if this story is something that actually took place is unclear to me. Still, why would anyone take the time to make up a story like this about Genza and not take any credit? Whatever.

I ran across one story in "Readers' Digest" many years ago about a man who was really concerned about his wife because her hearing was going. One day, he was about to go to the store to pick up a few things. As he passed the doorway to the den, he noticed his wife reading, sitting in a chair facing away from the doorway.

"Honey, I'm going to the store to get a few things; is there anything I can get for you?"

Silence. This man is thinking that his wife's hearing was getting real bad. So once more in a little louder voice....

"Honey, I'm going to the store to get a few things; did you want me to get anything for you?"

Again, dead silence. Fearful that his wife might have completely lost her hearing, he nearly shouts...

"HONEY, I'M GOING TO THE STORE; SHALL I GET YOU SOMETHING?"

This time, the wife stands and turns to face her husband with a "hmmmph!"......

"FOR THE THIRD TIME, NO!!!!"

This story was in no way set or told in the context of Jodo Shin Buddhism but it just reeks of it. This guy thought his wife's hearing was going bad when actually his was.

Related to this, I have a story that happened to me.....

Shortly after I got married, the picture on the television set which was one of the wedding gifts was fading. The color was not good; the picture not as distinct. It needed to be fixed or replaced. I figured I'd take care of it after my business trip scheduled from the next day.

Driving in LA, I was frustrated on the highways because the off ramp signs were so small that I couldn't read them until I was right up on them and unless I could get across five lanes of traffic, I'd have to continue on to the next exit. I was complaining about this to my relative and she said simply, "Maybe you need glasses." Glasses? My vision is better than average. I could read the bumper stickers on a car in front of me on the freeway when my brother couldn't with his glasses on. My vision is excellent -- what in the world could this woman be thinking.

After coming home, I was relating this to my wife and all she said was, "Go see an eye doctor and just make sure." (Did you know that when women get married, they seem automatically to receive a medical degree?) So I went, not liking it in the least. To my surprise, I did need glasses. It seems that the softball that smacked my eye the previous year did something to my exceptional vision and indeed my right eye couldn't make out which way the E's on the chart were facing.

I got my glasses and went home. Cracking open a beer, I sat on the couch and turned on the tube to see what kind of sports might be on.

"Hey!," I yelled to my wife, "Did you get the TV fixed while I was away?"

The end.

Ernie Morikubo on 12.24.05 [link]




Friday, December 9th

Hello again


It's been quite a while since my one and only entry some 18 months ago. This opportunity has been on the mind but never enough to result in action. Part of it is temporary incapacitation from other sources but mostly it is my inability to put my thoughts up here for fear of insulting someone and mostly for making myself look bad. It's tough to be profound on purpose and that (among many other paradoxes) is what I've been wrestling with, all stemming from a sense of responsibility to not say the improper thing and, again, make myself look bad. Well, the hell with all that. I've just got to say what I'm going to say and that's that. If it offends people, that's their problem and not my intention. What would the Buddha have said about this situation -- "Vely, vely, vely h..a..r..d cow dung?"

Jodo Shinshu people (in general, including me of course) take themselves too seriously. Every morning I sweep up the leaves, trash & whatever else to clean the sidewalk in front of the family business. To deposit whatever stuff I collect, a rollable trash container is rolled (duh!) to the front of the shop. As I'm sweeping up this refuse, people walk by and seeing an open trash container, deposit a wide range of trash, I guess, into the container without even asking for permission. I take offense at strangers using MY trash container as if it were their own. Logically, this makes no sense. If they should just throw it on the ground, it just means more work for me; I should be grateful that there are such considerate folks out there. Still, inspite of this logic, something buried deep inside feels resentment.

Where does this resentment, anger and disgust come from? Buddha said from the assumption that my false ego self is real and placing too much creedence into the mistaken assumption based on what I feel inherently but is, nonetheless, false. What I need is a sense of humor! I need to lighten up and enjoy more the life and reality which I am able to live and experience (this is easier said than done but you know this, right?). What Jodo Shinshu needs is a lighter but still profound presence. "Heavy" and profound is alright occaisionally, it's too much to deal with 24-7, knowwhutImean? What Jodo Shinshu really needs is a Jodo Shinshu Joke Book filled with jokes, games, humor, sarcasm, cynicism and all that other good stuff so we don't have to have a serious demeanor every time words like Dharma, Nembutsu, Ojo, Shinjin and other religiously significant terminology is mentioned or the topic of conversation. We need to develop the confidence to stand up at any time and shout, "That's BULL!," when it really is. We need to learn to laugh at ourselves.... let me take that back. I need to learn to laugh at myself periodically and remind my consciousness that any thought, feeling or action connected to I, me and mine (which is everything I do) is based on a mistaken premis and is false and untrue from its inception even as it hurts like hell and the pain will not abate. I get so frustrated when that which is false hurts so damn much.

So, where the heck is this going? I want to start putting up jokes in this essentially false blog here and determine first, if Jodo Shinsuists can indeed laugh at themselves and second, to what degree their sense of humor can be stretched and still be humor instead of taking it across that imaginary boundry and laughter is replaced by grunting noises, expressions of rage and looks of disdain. It's going to be a big challenge for me because I have destroyed two thirds of my brain engaging in such brain destroying activities like binge alchohol comsumption, reckless drug injestion and the occaisional random head butting foreign objects like walls, concrete, rocks and trees. All this was based on what I was told in public school: "Humans only use one third of their brains. The modern cromagnan animal has an exceptionally large brain but research has determined that the average person uses only one third of his/her brain." Thus, I proceeded to bash, demoralize and eventually destroy the two thirds of the brain that I felt I would never meet and get to know anyway. As they say, "Out of mind, never in sight." [Huh?]

What I've recently discovered is that the public schools only embraced, developed a curriculum for and taught only a portion of the entire lesson. The whole statement about how you and I use only one third of our brains is not exactly false BUT, they left out the all important three words (and it's not I LOVE YOU): "AT A TIME!" In other words, I am supposed to use ALL of my brain but only one third AT A TIME. In practical application, this means that I'll use a certain third while the other two thirds rest. When I do something else, I use only one third of my brain but (and this is really important) a different one third than before. Bottom line is I needed to have maintained, sustained, retained, fed and polished each and every brain cell so that they would be a vailable to be called up any instant to participate and be a part of that particular elite group of brain cells which have been called on to perform in any given instant. As you have already sumised, I have been reduced to using 100% of the one third I have left all the time (24-7) so you can just imagine how tired those cell must be.

At any rate, I'm gonna try to collect what I can in the way of jokes and games and such as well as put up some of my own thoughts hopefully with a humorous twist. I'll try to do this more or less on a regular basis but you must understand that a person with a cranial disablility can only try so much. And if you believe that trying is easy, try doing all the trying that we're supposed be trying as stated in the Golden Chain.

Namandabs and all that; I'm leaving now and coming back later.

Ernie Morikubo on 12.09.05 [link]




Thursday, September 16th

Blah, Blah, Blah!


Only BS on this page. Cynicism, sarcasm and irreverence seem to have taken over consiousness. Having come to the temple since pre-puberty, many changes have "evolved" over the years. And then, there are certain traditional activities and events that haven't changed much even though they are neither relevant to the present nor serve any practical function. Also there are customs that seem meaningless. Perhaps its due to my ignorance of the true meaning and purpose behind these customs and traditions. To the mind of this simpleton, these are pet peeves that need to be aired out. If someone can straighten me out ... do it, please!

For instance, why do we all need Buddhist names? Isn't Ernie good enough in the Pure Land? Regardless of the fact that Ernie wouldn't really have been first choice, no need to incur the out-of-pocket expense that receiving a Buddhist name entails (about $65). Rev. Shig Makino, who I admire and respect, chose the Buddhist name for which Grandma (my mother) paid. The rest of the family received theirs on a night that demanded I be playing music somewhere else. A little research in the family's Kako-cho will probably yield the proper name. It was Shaku Jo-"something" or Shaku "something"-Jo. It really doesn't matter since I'm thinking of changing to Shaku Hachi.

Another gripe: Why do we still burn incense? A symbol of purification, I think it was begun by the India people who didn't bathe too often and consequently had to rinse off in the Ganges or any nearby river then fan the wafting incense smoke over their bodies and clothes before an audience before Rev. Siddhartha "Shaka Bruddah" Gotama (Sakyamuni) Buddha or any other notable personage as a symbol of respect by disguising their filthy, smelly bodies. (Instead of O-shoko, it should have been called O-PineSol.) Anyway, the point is that most modern day people shower more than once a week and thus, there is no need to "cleanse and purify" our odorous "houses-of-bonno" bodies. Not only is the symbolism outdated (by 2, 600 years) but the smoke can be deadly to people who are allergic or who have asthma or emphysema. At a preschool service at Moiliili Hongwanji, there was a case where the incense smoke triggered an asthma attack. If it is going to be a health hazard, why not get rid of it? Why donlt we have a rock sitting in the middle of a miniature pool (even a pan will do) and each individual can use a spoon, ladle or paper cup to scoop up the water and pour it onto the rock to sybolize Amida's wisdom and compassion wearing down our "rock hard" egos. A note of caution though; the water needs to be changed every few days or mosquitoes will have a new breeding area.

At Moiliili Hongwanji and most temples in Hawaii, a bell located somewhere on the temple exterior is rung in traditional fashion to announce that a service is about to begin. As this occurs at or before 9:00 am Sunday morning, it really peaves off the neighbors to no end. It's no wonder that they hate the situation they are in - having to live right next to the temple bell that is activated early Sunday morning (sometimes, as early as before the 7:30 am Japanese Language Service for mostly elderly members). This custom was established long ago to let all the villagers know that a service was about to begin. Presently, there is no village surrounding the temple and some of our "villagers" live miles away. There is no way that they are going to hear a bell being struck by one person with a small hammer. The sound, however, is exceptionally loud for our neighbors who may be sorting out the haze of a hang over or trying to hear the televised football game commentary. If the temple members feel that we must indeed subject ourselves to that particular sound, put it on tape or CD and do it INSIDE the temple where the sound will not bother the whole neighborhood.

Why don't we take these archaic practices and throw them out? Why not exert a little non-attachment here and let go of some useless if not dangerous/hazardous-to-health customs which have no actual significance other than "it's always been done this way." We neither walk to the temple from our village homes nor do we make the trip by horse and buggy. So why do we need to hang on to the same rituals and practices when all else continues to change?

These are the kinds of cynical and irreverent thoughts and opinions about the hongwanji that have landed yours truly squarely in the profane faction of the Hongwanji. Think a little about this though. Without losers, there are no winners. Without sorrow, joy cannot be defined. Saints need sinners. Smart needs stupid; enlightenment, bonno; laws, crimminals; righteous Hongwanji, profane faction; karma, no-karma (DT Suzuki); Amida, sentient beings; sentient beings, Nembutsu (the Name-that-calls or the "callous" Name.*)

Methinks (not a new word, Popye used this) the essence is central and not so much the outer expression.

Gassho, Ernie

*callous - n. bunion; adj. 1) bunion like, having a hard and cold regard for; 2) having the quality or abilily to strike ignorant beings laden with karmic luggage and unable to discern, understand and recognize, much less feel gratitude for unhindered and pure wisdom and compassion. (callous is used like: instead of saying, "clouds in the sky" ... skyous or skious clouds)

Ernie Morikubo on 09.16.04 [link]