Every Day Thanksgiving
Here is my reflection from the January WLABT newsletter:
This year, I spent Thanksgiving with my wife's family in Georgia. I have always thought of Thanksgiving as the most Shin of all American holidays. Not only does it celebrate family and community, it is specifically based on the idea of recognizing our indebtedness and expressing gratitude for the things we receive. Surely this is the heart of Shin Buddhism. Whether you are saying the nembutsu at temple or counting your blessings over a shared turkey dinner, the attitude of Thanksgiving is what we aim for in Buddhism.
Gathering with the family also means that many generations come together in one place. In the past, it was common for multiple generations to live in one household or at least one village. But today we often live separated from much of our family, and these holidays take on extra meaning because children, parents, and grandparents can be with one another. Family is the most natural place for us to learn about indebtedness: even if we can't see the more abstract ways in which all people and things contribute to our lives, we can at least acknowledge the direct effect of parents and ancestors in bringing us into the world and raising us. The separation of family members in the modern world is surely part of the difficulty we have in developing thankful hearts.
When families gather, little dramas naturally play out as well. One of my sisters-in-law is only seven years old, so she is still learning about manners and the way the world works (of course, at thirty-one I too am still learning these things). One big problem she has is with saying "thank you." When she receives a present, she is clearly happy, but she has a hard time actually saying thank you in front of other people. It isn't clear whether this is embarrassment, greed, forgetfulness, or what exactly is going on. She got in trouble at one point and was sent to her room, followed by a lecture on thankfulness by her parents.
This incident got me thinking. How do we understand this little girl's lack of gratitude in reference to Shin Buddhism? We often talk about how we need to be thankful to Amida and that it is the heart of entrusting, the grateful heart, that leads to our birth in the Pure Land. If my sister-in-law never learns to be grateful, will she be forever shut out of the Pure Land?
In my understanding, even an ungrateful person will be born in the Pure Land. Amida accepts us just as we are, even when we don't accept ourselves or others find us unacceptable. As Shinran noted, Amida knows us as persons deeply sunk in delusion and attachment, yet allows us to ride on the power of the Primal Vow all the same. Shinran affirmed that even murderers will be accepted into the Pure Land, so surely the ungrateful will be too.
Yet, this doesn't take away the necessity for gratitude. Let us look again at the situation of the little girl. She is ungrateful, but nevertheless she is embraced by great compassion. Other Power works to awaken her, through the voice of her parents, teachers, and friends. She will not be abandoned. But while she persists in being ungrateful, she is harming herself. Stuck in a self-centered mindset that greedily wants things but doesn't want to acknowledge the source of her benefit, she is closed-off from the very human connections that seek to share love and happiness with her. She thinks of herself as a solitary unit, missing the joy of her interconnection with others. Her refusal to say thank you hurts the feelings of people who care for her, and worries those entrusted to be her guides. She is only able to enjoy one half of her presents: the things themselves. She cannot enjoy the other, better half: the joy of the receiving itself, which is only felt to its utmost by the open heart of thankfulness. In short, her life is worse off because she cannot manifest a grateful heart.
Sometimes people talk about Pure Land Buddhism as being other-worldly. But to me, it is heavily oriented toward this world. The other world is already taken care of completely by Other Power; there is nothing that we have to do in relation to the next life. In fact, there is nothing at all we can do, since our birth in the Pure Land and return to this world to help others rests solely on the Primal Vow. That means that Shin Buddhism is fundamentally concerned with our lives right now, in this situation, dealing with our troubled experiences before the release of nirvana after death. When we are implored to be grateful, I do not understand it as the key to attaining a reward after death. To me, it means the key to being happy in this very life. It is possible to live a long life without ever learning to be thankful, but it hardly seems like a real life to me. The true and real life is only touched when we wake up to our fundamental indebtedness and learn to live a life that makes every day Thanksgiving.
